But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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