dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
now i know why i became what i already was.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
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mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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