just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
