i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
