How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize