i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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