when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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