are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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