Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
