I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
