is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
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my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
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I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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