I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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