That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
