Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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