I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
