So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
