Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
