I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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