i don't like sucking hair
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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