Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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