so that wasnt chicken after all
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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