Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize