Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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