People with herpes should wear stickers.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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