At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
