so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
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It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
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She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.