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Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
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