Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction