I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
