margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
