DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
