My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
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His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
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Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize