After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
