mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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