i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
