I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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