Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
