Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
