I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize