I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
