I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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