On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Holy shit dude........stairs
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize