Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
