pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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