I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize