I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
