i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
