I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
