Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
