I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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