After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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