I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
