My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
