it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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