The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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