I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
