i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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