does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she looked like the before picture.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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