To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
