woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
